For most of my life, I was a prisoner of perfection and afraid of criticism. The fear of criticism was my jailer, and I spent countless hours measuring every word, every gesture, terrified of making a misstep. The quest for perfection was just a desperate attempt to avoid the pain of rejection.
I know, it sounds crazy, but it was my reality.
Practices like meditation and pranayama help quiet the mind, fostering inner peace and clarity. Additionally, the concept of ‘Svadhyaya,’ or self-study, encourages introspection and understanding of one’s true nature. By visiting deeper into oneself, we can uncover our inherent worthiness and resilience.
Over the years, through meditation, and a whole lot of self-reflection, I’ve slowly started to break free. But the real breakthrough came recently when I realized something profound: it wasn’t their rejection that hurt, it was my rejection of myself.
Let me explain.
When someone criticizes or rejects us, it feels like a personal attack. We internalize it and think, “See, I’m not good enough.” This self-rejection is the real wound, deeper and more painful than any external criticism.
It is like losing our most precious relationship – the one we have with ourself. We are so terrified of losing this connection that we tend to do anything to avoid rejection. It is mentally exhausting.
Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log.
The Bhagavad Gita, a sacred scripture, emphasizes the importance of performing one’s duty without attachment to the outcome. This aligns with the idea of letting go of the need for external validation.
Ditch The Drama, Love Yourself
Now, I’m learning to choose differently. I’m choosing to accept myself, flaws and all, no matter what anyone else thinks. It’s like building a fortress around my heart, a place where I am unconditionally loved and accepted.
It’s not easy. There are still days when the old fear creeps in, but I’m getting better at recognizing it and replacing it with self-compassion (karuna bhaav).
I’m starting to see myself as a whole person, worthy of love and respect, instead of a checklist of accomplishments. It’s like shedding layers of armor and finally being able to breathe freely.
I’m still on this journey, and there will be bumps along the way. But I feel hopeful. I feel like I’m finally becoming the person I was always meant to be.
Are you afraid of criticism too? Have you ever felt like you were walking on eggshells to avoid criticism? Have you ever sacrificed your own happiness to please others?
My book, Reflections at 24, is all about ditching the drama and finding your happy place. It’s filled with real talk and practical tips to help you love yourself and love life as it comes. Give it a shot – Reflections at 24
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